hummingbird wings

today i went for a bike ride in o. p. schnabel park. it is about 1 mile down the road from where i live. there are lots of trails...paved and unpaved... i saw a doe and a fawn. rabbits and a road runner. i had no idea what a road runner looked like in real life...the only one i have ever seen before is the kind on looney tunes...yeah, old school saturday morning cartoons... they are really cool.
i had vigorously biked around the trails for about an hour and i found this nook overlooking a tree-laden valley that probably had a dry creek bed at the bottom. i sat there thinking about all of the events in my life over the past month and decided that God is good...he is one hundred percent, irrevocably good....he is not good some of the time and other times he is just so-so...he is ALWAYS good. he always has my best interests at heart and knows me so well. he calls me to him and drives me to the mercy seat to dwell in his presence. he knows me, down to the nitty-gritty...the good, the bad, and the ugly. he is always by my side, drawing me closer to his heart. longing to pull me to the bosom of the Father. he craves intimacy with me...not just wants it, but craves it. i am forced to ask myself some questions...what is it about intimacy that scares me? why do i pull away when he wants to draw me in? i do not know the answers and i do believe that i am almost scared to know them...someday i will.
the other thing that the Lord showed me today was this...i was sitting on my balcony...sipping on some water (by sipping, i really mean, gulping down) after my hard ride and a hummingbird came right up into my face, hovered there for a few moments with its 100,000 mph wings and then flitted away. if the Lord knows the location and wing speed of every tiny little hummingbird...how much more does he know about me...the one that he loves and calls his favorite.