Icing on the Cake

I am currently trying to enter the Air Force. Unfortunately, this has been complicated by the weight Nazis at the M.E.P.S. center at Fort Snelling (really, they are just civilians who enjoy a power trip). By the way, M.E.P.S. stands for Military Entrance Processing Station. It was a real experience trying to pass the physical for the Air Force. First off, you have to get up at 0430 hours (a.k.a. 4:30 A.M.). Breakfast can be eaten, but if you are like me and a little tight on the weight, you dodn't get to eat breakfast or drink any water. Then, you are hearded onto a school bus. By the way, I am still unable to fit perpendicualarly into the seats, my legs are too long. So...I had to squish myself into a seat made for a twelve-year-old and then proceed to listen to the blatant immaturity of 30+ 18-year-olds. It was fun! (make sure you hear the sarcasm in my voice) Then, you line up and walk quickly everywhere you go. You are forced to listen to unfortunate men who swear because their vocabulary is not big enough to sustain any intelligent adjectives. Anyway, you finally enter the medical area, where you are made to wait for 1/2 hour before anyone addresses you. Then, you get to go to different stations to complete each part of the physical. Through this process, I have learned that I have no depth perception, perhaps an explanation as to why I was so bad at hand-eye coordination activities, meaning... almost all sports. In addition, you get to (mind the operative...get to...) pee in a cup in front of another girl. I guess I should be thankful that it was not a man. Then you get to do the underwear olympics, which is a series of excercises that seem utterly pointless in front of a little doctor man who is no larger than Danny DeVito, though not quite as rotund...yes, it really is humiliating, no matter who tells you any different. Anyway, I made it through all of that just to learn that I didn't pass because there was a 4 lb. discrepancy between my scale and their scale. Oh, I also forget to tell you that I had to wait almost two (yes that is right, count them, TWO) hours for the other girl to pee before we could do the last part of our physical because you perform it as a group. That was THE icing on the cake.

Wonderful Breadsticks

So...I did it, I broke down and ate something not good for me! I ate breadsticks from Olive Garden...and let me tell you, there was nothing in the world that tasted so good! But alas, I had to go home and face the fact that I had eaten too much and had gained back 2 of the pounds that cannot be stuck to me in order to pass my physical...but, it is OK because it just made me run in the rain, which felt good for a change.

Not Talking About Food

So...I have my physical for the Air Force next Wednesday (yes, you can all pray for me). And unfortunately, its all I can think about. But I don't really want to talk about it. Why, you ask? Everytime I do, people either order great food and eat in front of my and/or they choose to talk about their latest kitchen creation. I am starving. I am downright, good old fashioned hungry for everything I cannot eat. For example:
1. Biscuits and gravy-- a perfectly acceptable food, I mean really, it goes well with any green vegetable, especially okra, I love okra, has a protein (if you make the gravy with burger), some carbohydrates on the side, amazingly good!
2. Tortellini-- cheese filled, mushroom filled, spinach filled, spinach and cheese filled...I mean 101 combinations...they are like little food-filled inner tubes that are bursting with flavor, and not only that, if you eat ones that you don't know what is inside, it's like opening a present when it's not even your birthday!
3. America's version of Chinese-- let's face it, to anyone of you who have ventured outside the United States, America's versions of "ethnic" foods are always so ethnic...I think it is mostly because you and I are unwilling to eat something that we ride for entertainment (such as horse and donkey) or something we chose to have around as a means of making our lives seem more fulfilled (i.e. cats, dogs, iguanas, boa constricters...)
But, bottom line, I am sick of talking about it, listening to eat, ect. After I have my physical I am going to eat something really good, I don't know what is yet, but it is going to be delectable!

Creative Display

This article recently appeared in the St. Paul Pioneer Press, I thought it humorous:

Tainted: To the individuals who displayed their creativity by placing St. Paul Water Utility marker flags all over my vehicle that was parked in MY driveway early morning on Aug. 4. You caused major damage to my vehicle in your clever display! Maybe it is time for you to show your creativity in a more productive way. My advice to you is to go back to school, get a job, volunteer or maybe just get a life, but please do not use my property to display your creativity.

Blog Vows

I vow to be interesting for all you sad, poor folk who decide to indulge my thoughts on life.
I vow to not become obsessed with blogging (which could easily happen).
I vow to remain hilarious.
I vow to mention scooters at least one time.
I vow to remain objective when anyone comments on my page (transaltion...I won't judge you).
I vow to be clean.
I vow to spell correctly and use correct grammer (this one's for you, Mom).

What is this thing called blog?

I have decided to create a blog spot. What does that mean? Does it mean that I have become what I have feared, a true dependent upon the computer system that entwines our current universe? Do I now list among the millions who are internet dependent? Am I to be counted with those who I have...sadly, but truly...belittled in my pea-sized intelect? Will I indeed become a sad, lonely girl who spends her nights and weekends reconfiguring the blog spot that she has created for the sole purpose of staying connected with her friends and family?