reality

i have to confess something...i have not been that real lately...i mean, downhome, hard core real about my faith and who i am inside of that faith...i am compromising...making myself think that my standards were just too high...and you know what, i guess i was just being spiritually immature. i had a small faith aneurysm...a ballon that just burst and i let go of what defines me for a short time...i have to get back into it...i have to reach out of this muck and myre and just grab the hand of Jesus that is being held out to me...i can't be soft anymore with my faith...i need to create boundaries that are more concrete...not so fluid...i have allowed myself to be influenced by this world...influenced by the fact that i wanted to be accepted...Jesus said that he did not come so that we might be accepted, but he came that we might have eternal life. he said that he would tear apart families and that those of the world would hate us...i need to be back in the bosom of the Father...i hate where i am at right now...i am doing something aobut it. i will not sit and stand by as i watch others live their lives for Jesus. i will be the witness that i am called to be...