marriage

one of my best friends is getting married...real life, his and her towels, lets grow old together and sit on the porch and scold the grandchildren married. i am so ecstatic for her!...and yet. somehow i feel the bittersweetness of it all. i live in texas, far away from all of the action. we use to talk about when we got married all of the things we would help each other do...things that i just thought i would be there for and now things, that i am missing out on...it feels strange, being so far away and not getting to be a part of those momentous occasions in the lives of those who are so important to you. i am supposed to be there, you know...for the worrying about whether the tuxedos will get picked up and what if the dress doesn't fit at the last minute or what happens if the cake falls over in the car? i am suppose to be there saying it will be fine, everything will work out, and i'll just go buy a cake from cub...but alas, i am here in the furnace that is san antonio and she is there in the ice box of america...oh, how i mourn...