heart preparations

i realize that this blog has not seen much action over the past six months. i apologize for the lag in activity. i have been overwhelmingly preoccupied with the task set before me by the illustrious united states air force. you see, i am being deployed. to a remote location in the middle east. for security reasons, i am unable to name such place here but do wish to convey my thoughts/feelings on the matters set before me. from here on out, i turn over a new leaf. i will brighten a new stone. i will write as often as i am able.

yesterday, i was informed that i would be leaving this morning. i ran around in an flurry of activity to finish the last minute preparations for my eminent departure and then realized thirty minutes later i was ready to go. it was a rather deflated feeling of anticipation. i must not be as nervous as i am supposed to feel. i mean, really, isn't there supposed to be some sort of pivotal revelation regarding the overwhelming task of going off to war...granted, i am a nurse and if i am out there on the frontlines engaging the enemy, then a new strategy must employed....regardless, i am going off to war. complete with the whole kevlar helmet and flac vest and m9 strapped to my person at all times. its a little....daunting. and yet, i have an overwhelming peace.

as i sailed over the checkerboard landscape of the midwest this morning, the lord began to open my heart to a few revelations. one...the lord really does order our steps. he points us in directions we never thought we would or even could go. he takes our meager lives and our wonderful small beginnings and revolutionizes them. we not only come out on the other side with amazing testimonies we also come out with a newfound perspective on life. o, to be sure, there are bumps and hurdles, potholes and mountains, plains and ravens. we endured those rocky crags that somehow still house the glory of god and we are transformed. our faces do reflect the glory.

and two...it does not matter what you do as long as it is bathed in love. this one is so straight forward. so simple. yet so elusive. read 1 corinthians 14:16. it's a keeper. hold it in your heart. memorize it. make it a part of your daily life. every moment i struggle with this because of my stubborn, sinful flesh. but i am redeemed. i am constantly being made new. constantly being polished in the hand of the almighty, like a shinning new penny. i wish that penny candy still existed so that children (big and small) could recognize the fruitfulness of the smallest wage. full of promise. sweet and savory.

lord, i pray that those who read this would be revolutionized by their small beginning and their heart perspective would be transformed. i pray for the renewing of their minds and the softening of their hearts. i pray for the reflection of your glory in their lives. i pray that they would be bathed in your love. i pray for that new penny moment. for your hand to continue to polish their lives, lord jesus. come. thank you for making us whole, making us into who you have designed us to be. thank you for your faithfulness and everlasting arms.