blood

so...i know i did not write the following...credit can only be given to a friend and colleague of mine, SSgt Scott Costner, but i thought all of you back home should read this (forgive me SSgt Costner, i did edit a few things):


I met a special operations soldier in the hospital this week named Joshua. He only stayed for 3 days before he was flown out. Joshua was in his early-to-mid 30's and the mission he was faced with was pretty much a suicide mission; nonetheless, he was willing to do it. As the highest ranking member and most knowledgeable in this type of combat, he was placed in charge of his team which consisted of about 12 other troops. His commander told him about the upcoming mission in advance but he told Joshua that he had to "carry this information around with him until it got closer to the date when it would all be executed." A couple days before the mission, Joshua notified his troops. They were able to go to an old building, pop open their MRE's (meals ready to eat), and discuss the events to come. Some of his troops had a hard time dealing with the realization of this mission but conceded to it being carried out. Knowing what this mission might come to, Joshua became very stressed and started suffering from a disorder called hemohidrosis. Hemohidrosis is a disease, brought on by stress, where the capillaries around your sweat pours become weak and leak blood into your sweat. Still, Joshua pressed forward for the mission.
The mission involved him "getting caught" by the enemy and becoming a POW (prisoner of war) in order to infiltrate the prison camp and try to save the other prisoners. the number of prisoners was unknown at the time. His troops were to stay close by and try to retrieve as many soldiers as possible by implementing the strategies Joshua taught them. Fortunately, they didn't have to "get caught" by the enemy. The mission was a success, but the injuries Joshua sustained almost made his
anatomical structures unrecognizable. Once he "got caught" by the enemy they began to interrogate him and relentlessly beat him.
For months, Joshua and his troops were in the field. This time away from normal facilities caused Joshua to have a thick beard. Apparently, in this culture, beards are of religious significance: to try to appear more like Muhammad. So, since Joshua and his captures had different religious beliefs, they ripped his beard off with their bare hands. He said that they also tore off his uniform and forced him to wear one of theirs. They also gave him a stick of some sort, only to later use that
same stick against him during the interrogation. Luckily, they didn't fracture his skull, but he suffered numerous brain contusions (from the blows to the head) which caused an unsafe increase in his ICP's (intracranial pressures) due to the swelling of the brain. At that point he was very weak and could only say a few words at a time. The enemy knew that he was special forces because of his patches so they took
every opportunity to spit on him, beat him, etc.. He said they even went as far as to put a turban on him! He said that it "felt like there were razors inside the turban," but he wasn't sure because of all the cuts that were already on his head and forehead, "it may have just been that painful to slide on." I personally couldn't make out what the origin of all the cuts were from because there was just too many to inspect: different sizes, shapes, and depths. He mentioned that he couldn't really see because of all the blood on his face and the fact that he went in and out of consciousness a few times. The rest of his body was severely battered as well: mostly his back. Joshua mentioned that he "guessed they didn't want him to see them so they turned him around." They hit him with what seem to be a plethora of different weapons that completely shredded his back, sides, and neck. This went on for a while but eventually they let up, put his uniform back on him, and marched him
outside in front of all the others. They placed his ruck-sack on his back and had Joshua walk around before they tied him up.
During the "walk" Joshua said that he was able to gain the coordinates he needed and he saw where the prisoners in need were located. This information gave him more strength to endure. They used the equipment from his ruck-sack to tie him up. During this process they managed to dislocate both of his shoulders and both if his elbows due to the stretching. This left his chest fully expanded and in a position that didn't allow him to take deep breaths or exhale completely. Eventually he became hypoxic (lack of oxygen), respiratory acidosis (increase in carbon dioxide in the lungs)set in, and becoming hypovolemic (large amount of blood loss) was just another one of his subsequent injuries. Due to the low volume of blood, the kidneys could
not compensate for any of the issues at hand. Due to the shallow breaths he had to take, small areas of each lung began to collapse. Because of this, fluid began to fill around his lungs and heart. Due to the fluid build-up in the pericardium (sac protecting the heart), the heart began to beat faster to try and pump blood through the body. This squeezing pressure the fluid placed on the heart enabled the heart to adequately circulate the blood. All of this eventually suffocated Joshua. So, if you were to try and put a chest tube in him or if you were to puncture his chest-wall, you would get a water-like return with blood mixed in. Joshua passed away due to a slow, painful suffocation and a severe MI (heart attack).
I know I said that I "met" with Joshua this week at the hospital--that is true. I met Him at the communion table. Matthew (NIV) chapter 26 verses 27 & 28 states, "He took the cup,gave thanks and offered it to them, saying, 'drink from it, all of you.This is my blood of the covenant, which is poured out for many for the forgiveness of sins.'" Luke (NIV) chapter 22 verse 19 states, "he took bread, gave thanks and broke it, and gave it to them, saying, 'this is my body given for you; do this in remembrance of me.'"
I have seen enough blood and death to last 2 lifetimes. I have seen traumas that I can't begin to describe or articulate. But even the worst traumas could be recognized as a human being. Isaiah 52:14 says that "His appearance was so disfigured beyond that of any man, and his form marred beyond human likeness."


no matter how many traumas i face. there is nothing to the reality of the death of Jesus of nazareth upon that crucial cross. currently i have had the grave pleasure of reading Watchman Nee's classic 'a normal christian life'. i have come to the conclusion that this conundrum does not and cannot exist. to be normal and chrisitain cannot be symbiotic. the life of a christ-like individual must be lived with boldness and compassion, dwelling constantly in the innate satisfaction that the spilling of His blood has brought upon us. he calls us to live a life worthy of this spilling, worthy of this outpouring of love. with the sacrifice of his body, Jesus proclaimed his undying obedience to the Father and his ultra-faithful love to his flock. be worthy of that love, as all of you continuely demonstrate, because he does not ask us to approach the thrown in our flesh, but bathed in the likeness of his resurrection. we are allowed to approach the thrown with grace. grab onto that grace like you have never done before. bath yourself in the blood if you have not already. and if you have, rest in the assurance of his utmost sacrifice.